Has it been ages since I last constantly dated a guy? Recently, I have just been fooling around doing out-of-body experiences on a nonchalant ambiance yet I find it hard to grasp the idea that I am ready to settle again. It could be that these non-committed acts free me from any responsibilities knowing that I am not really permanent.
Mind you that I have dated a number of discreet men – from guys who closet themselves because of family matters, societal, peer pressure and discrimination or simply because they are married and they have children. Which is very contrary to my perspective in life since I have never been discreet at all… at any point of my life. It is the ingenuity of my personality of being dynamic, self-expressive and independent, which I firmly believe didn’t cause any roadblock to self-restraint of homosexuality.
Yet, it still puzzles me how do discreet men survive their day. I learned my ways on toning down in public when I am with them – it doesn’t feel right yet it must be done; it feels uncomfortable but it must be observed; it is plainly obnoxious but not too abhorrent to the diversity of my freedom and belief but sometimes you need to meet halfway to un-relinquish the moment.
That’s why I ask. Help me understand.