People do stupid things when they’re emotionally vulnerable and it almost happened last week. Without even thinking the consequences, I almost fell into this trap and I was lucky that someone bumped my head to reality before it happened.
Certain things were discussed over the weekend like how to fix myself. One of the options was him to let go so I could be with that guy who had the courage to decide what is right. It was a beautiful option but then, I have failed to face that he may reject me the third time.
Your scent is starting to fade away but not the memories, never will. There are idle moments when I close my eyes, flashbacks of me being around your arms still rush into my pre-frontal cortex constantly playing in loop. I wish I could make it stop because it drives mixed emotions.
On the other hand, I wish that loop may become a reality specially that last weekend in your bluish-green room under the roof of poor ventilation. That moment when we stepped outside to smoke and talk nonsense things under the moon and stars; wishing I could smell the breeze of flora in the morning during the rainy season.
I seriously miss you.