Goodbyes Are Not Forever

Thank you for meeting me yesterday. I think that’s what I needed – the closure which we never had the last time we met because I felt like I was abruptly left in the dark, without any hint that you  were leaving.

Thank you for not being awkward when we were in the car, asking what has been happening to me, work, school and to us, Jayvee. You raised so many good points that have been sitting at the back of my mind. Clouded by heartache, I never considered moving on without you because I still have this igniting spark, which never went away, so I tenaciously dwelled on the idea that by downing myself with sorrow, I will just desensitize to the pain without considering that people close to me would be affected.

Thank you that you kept cheering me up despite I was having depressive suicidal thoughts because of low testosterone dip from recovery. That you kept insisting that even when you’re physically gone, you’ll always cherish what we had, smiling. Comparing to my despair that whenever I think of our times together, I’ll always hate myself for what has happened and left with no hope to carry on.

Thank you for not closing your communications with me. You know that I can freely open myself to you without any reservations. That I have found a good listener whom which I never imagined of had having a bestfriend – boyfriend. In due time, when I am better and I have picked myself from this mess, I’d like to meet with you again so I can proudly present how you made me better, on how you made my relationship with Jayvee better.

Thank you.

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