Do you remember that you were afraid that I would move on first before you? I know that you have laid your reasons for me not to sulk on this wallowing depression but as much as I try to do what you asked me, it feels like I could never recover from this. Such minute idle moments, even for a split second, our memories flashback chunk by chunk that I further imagine what-if scenarios if our situation was totally different: meeting you elsewhere and not in that lustful platform where people pose as their alter personalities to concede from what world offers to them; being unselfish and normal; and not overthinking everything.
Pain is temporary, as Jayvee says and it shall pass by. But why do each passing day, it does not make it less painful but more aching? I guess desensitizing to sorrow would help me finish my day, at least, lest ignoring passion to pursue those plans we have shared as I have only started writing them as wishes like those cute notes you have written on your stationery; they’re all compiled and treasured.
I did mention that I needed that closure. I maybe just expecting too soon that this pain would just go away. Apparently, it likes to stay there and I don’t know how long.