Ever since my father was gunned down, I told to myself not to follow any religious organization, worshiping idolatries or even pray to someone whom I cannot see. My studies in Sciences and Mathematics added to my belief to stay agnostic theist for the rest of my life until earlier.
For the past few days, overcoming depression makes it easier because I have Jayvee that guides me and makes me happy. Work is a good distraction plus doing smoke helps me relax at night when I am alone just like tonight. But for the past weekend, my mood has not changed a bit. It became worse earlier morning when I had no tasks to do at work because the preceding tasks were not yet finished. So, the whole day, I was idle… very dangerous to my fickle-mind.
It is true, even backed by Social Sciences and Psychology, that people find peace in religion. It brings them security that Someone above them is watching and guiding them everyday; evaluating deeds and misdemeanors while you, pray for a Supreme being wishing that you would be granted with your simple needs and wants in life; thanking Him for the generosity you have been receiving ever since you started breathing and saying your apologies for the things that may have harmed other people or yourself.
My father was agnostic, too. I remember that during his past 40’s, something has changed – he asked the local parochial priests to hold weekly night Christian masses in our frontyard where people actually attended Catholic-like church service! It could be that he was undergoing midlife crisis or he thought that religion could help him better peace. I also remember that I almost converted into Born Again Christian while attending highschool in a Christian school. If only I did not rebel against my father, I may have been actively participating in religious activities.
So, earlier, I decided to kneel down, look up, offered 5 minutes of my time and talked to Him. Overall, it was refreshing. I shed some tears while I offered myself that I will fight this depression no matter how down I am today, because I will be better soon.
While reading some current events on young adult being affected with mental disorder, I found some local numbers whom I can talk with in case my friends are not available.
Information and Crisis Intervention Center
(02) 804-HOPE (4673)
0917-558-HOPE (4673) or (632) 211-4550
0917-852-HOPE (4673) or (632) 964-6876
0917-842-HOPE (4673) or (632) 964-4084
In Touch Crisis Lines:
0917-572-HOPE or (632) 211-1305
(02) 893-7606 (24/7)
(02) 893-7603 (Mon-Fri, 9 am-5 pm)
Globe (63917) 800.1123 or (632) 506.7314
Sun (63922) 893.8944 or (632) 346.8776