Where Is He?

People has started asking, “Where is the other guy?”.

He is not just the other guy, he was my boyfriend. That day he decided to part ways, he sketched a mark out of me. He may be gone, out of physical reach, but that part has never really went away.

Until your name becomes rarely mentioned in conversations. It is I who keep bringing up yours, afraid that even for a day without thinking about you, could be the start that I am starting to move on, letting you go so that you will not be bound of not having the sole experience being in a genuine normal relationship.

For the past few days I have contemplated on how unfair our setup was, being selfish and kept insisting that it would be a fair share. Knowing how bad I am in underestimating things, you felt everything shifted that even the most minor issues were constantly debated. Was it because of stress in school and work or did I just become easy that by putting you both in a chat group, it would be fair knowing what’s happening amongst the three of us? The exclusivity definitely went away.

“When someone is in your heart, they’re never truly gone. They can come back to you, even at unlikely times.”

-Mitch Albom

I am wishing that this will teach me that love will not fade away with the passing of time. That it will be stronger to overcome distances and pain of heartbreak… of never giving up despite the doubts of believing that in soon time, if two people are meant together, they will be.

 

EQ Test: Read this on March 14th, 9pm

My mother has been cooking breakfast for the past 2 weeks. It is very economically convenient because I do not have to eat fast food every morning. It also helps me avoid the places and things we used to do in the morning – Jollibee, taho, donuts, etc. As much as I avoid these even walking swiftly to work, I make sure that I will stop by and pause at an intersection where I saw him first on daylight.

Until he sent me this:

But, it is time for you to move on.

Move on for the one.

The one who stayed, the one who is fighting for you, the one who is right beside you. He deserves your whole love.

Universe knows how much I teach and force myself not to think of him but everytime I am idle, piece by piece of what we used to share come rushing into my senses that I may not experience that anymore. Just like last night when I was cleaning my closet, I found a stray notebook that I used to practice Algebra and Calculus. This note struck me as you always used to do when we were together.

So how do you teach your heart to stop loving someone whom could never be yours?